Read.My.Lips

Frustrations & Finding Faith

2011-06-20T13:07:00.002+01:00

i just got rejected from yet another job

i wasn't so disappointed at the start

i mean i was looking forward to

finally having a job

but then my mum said something

to me today that let me understand

something

*you need God*

i never really understood what

it meant to actually serve God

I always thought praying,

reading your bible was enough

but it seems I am wrong.

i am really frustrated with what life

is dishing out to me. I just want to curl

up into a ball and cry all my frustrations away

I am not saying I have a bad life, I have

a great life. I'm just missing something and I think

its God.

You can only go so far by yourself

You need God to carry you the rest of the way

I really want to find God. I just don't know how.

The Web

2011-06-08T17:51:00.005+01:00

i had my first job interview

i was really excited...i just

kept smiling. i think the

people think i'm an idiot.

its funny how people get

irritated over what people

tweet. i mean you are at home

complaining about someone's

tweet, while the person doesn't

know and doesn't care. damn shame

same applies to life in general.

no one really cares.

i was thinking why people get upset

that people do not act the way they

do in reality on the web. its silly really

here you have a platform for you to

present to the world how you would

really like to be seen; and people are hating

on that *i cringe anytime i use the word hating/hate/hater*

twitter is like the first time u meet someone

u tell them all the wonderful stories about

yourself, mixed with little fibs here and there,

a couple of half truths, white lies, and the

*don't tell anyone but my dad owns a space shuttle type lies*

and u seem so awesome, but unlike the real world

people never get to see your less than awesome self

just what you to choose to show. everyone does this

wonder why people get mad. its entertaining really.

*warning important life lesson*

lose - when you lose something/to be without something

loose - when you become free from an attachment

studying is boring. even for your favourite

subject when you have no motivation.

need. to. stay. focused.

love&live.

Karma

2011-06-07T19:45:00.004+01:00

...is a bitch

and she doesn't care

if you didn't mean to.

a classic case of

do unto others

what you want

done to you.

but as humans.

we miss it. every time.

its a vicious cycle,

what happens to us

may continue to be

punishment, retribution,

or reward for something

done in the past.

like i said before.

life. is. not. funny

its depressing shit.

sometimes when someone

does something bad to me

i just want to see them suffer

for it. i wonder if that makes me

a bad person.

expecting too much from someone is recipe

for disaster. you are just setting yourself up

to be hurt.

wipe the tears

love&live

enough.

2011-05-15T16:07:00.002+01:00

you know in enough the movie

when J.Lo had enough and she

decided to take matters into her own hands?

yeah thats what i feel like doing.

no, not in that violent way.

i'm not about to beat the crap

out of anyone and accidentally (intentionally)

have a dead body on my hands.

its funny how when something

you always wanted is begging you

to take it, but you are too cut up

in your own shit to notice.

its funny how sometimes you

work so hard for something,

but it just manages to escape

you, by the tiniest fraction.

its funny how one day something

is there, and the next its gone.

life. is. not. funny.

its depressing shit.

you know when i think about it

its important not to let life's event

dictate your life for you.

yeah something tragic happened, so what?

is the whole world supposed to stop for you?

i hate when people hold on to the past,

painful or not.

life.will.not.wait.for.you.

i will never stop reiterating the

importance of learning to let go,

when you hold on..you disappear.

because you change.

and become something else.

things shouldn't change you.

change because you want things

to be different.

even if people are willing to wait

for you, they won't wait forever.

no matter how much they love you.

Not Sure.

2011-02-26T14:47:00.003Z

I'm here sat at my desk

I'm trying to write a paper on constructivism

with corrine bailey rae playing in the background.

But my mind keeps wandering I find myself

researching for things I wish I had in my life.

Generally I feel like I am content with the things I have

But once in a while I get that hungry greedy pang of 'wanting more'

It was my birthday a couple of weeks ago and I guess

I'm still stuck where I was last yr.

I have all these big ideas of things I want to do or should

be doing, but I never get around to doing any.

Mostly because I am a lazy ass and just do enough to get by

Largely because I am the BIGGEST procrastinator ever!

I think I have to take my life a little more serious.

I mean I know what I want to be, where I want to go

But I'm too lazy to do things I should do to get me there.

I find now that beyond looking at those 'big girls'

when I was about 10 and being excited to get there (where I am now)

I never had an idea what I was going to do once I was a big girl.

My mum and dad and brothers keep saying "oh! you are a big girl now"

I think this is more in reference's to my age

Because mentally I am not sure I really want to be a 'big girl' right now

I have been trying to adopt a different persona,

Most ppl will say be who you are

But why can't I create who I want to be?

I mean this literally by the way.

I have a passion for nothing and everything.

I mean that I am not entirely passionate about one thing.

But everything.

I just really want to be relevant.

I swear in my mind I do things and sometimes think someone

is documenting my life for my THS

as crazy as it might sound I've thought about this for the past, well since

forever really.

I go to school get good grades and I'm at the point where

I need to decide what direction my life is going to take

Its just so hard, I know what I want

the question how do I make it happen

I've got the best person ever by my side

so that makes life a little more bearable for me

I am still influenced and motivated by the same things.

Nothing has changed on that front.

But I'm changing, I'm changing and I'm not sure how

But I know its happening.

I am learning things everyday.

Things thats used to be relevant,

aren't relevant anymore.

I am ready to start living the life

I am about to create for myself.

I spoke to a old friend today

she said I'm still the same.

In my head I laughed because I feel like I am different

I'm just not sure how.

For one I am more secure in my faith

and even more hungry to learn about it than ever

I am more interested in doing things the right way

than doing things for the moments.

I want to work now so I can enjoy more later

Central to my belief is still Love

I can never give up on it.

It makes my world go round

But something more is evolving

I just don't know what it is

I am not going to say that I am going to start

doing the things that I should be doing

because as much clarity as pouring the inner workings

of my mind on this blog brings, I'm not sure if my life

will become what I want it to be.

It feels good to blog again...

i wish i had a better camera

2010-08-23T20:21:00.013+01:00

i love
pictures, mostly black&white
if i could i would frame almost
every second of my life.

spent the better part of today
deleting duplicates off my itunes
it suddenly developed a mind
of its own and decided to duplicate
itself.

listened to songs i haven't heard in a while

all these memories came rushing back

for me, music captures events of my life

almost as good as pictures do.

i wish i had a better camera.

she will make a beautiful model one day

the ducklings are so adorable, couldn't resist

my biggest inspiration

To a Special Someone

2010-06-21T19:51:00.003+01:00

My pops says if a man wants you, tell him he has to work for you. You do not come cheap so he must treat you like you are his whole world, don't accept any less

I know what I want and I cannot accept any less, because to do so I will be compromising myself. This I cannot do because I am all I've got, so what will be left of me if at each bump or hurdle I compromise myself.

Its all about self esteem and self worth. You have to think highly of yourself and be confident in your abilities, you have to sing everyday I am the greatest if you truly believe that.

It is what you project of yourself that people will see, so if you show yourself to be a queen they will most certainly treat you like one.

I am not saying be proud, I am saying be arrogant..and yeah there is a difference.

You can be arrogant in your abilities but yet be humble.

Life is full of troubles, struggles and challenges (quote job 14) but it is also filled with happiness and prosperity.
It is the sum of all these experiences that make you who you are.

It is then left for you to decide what you want to do with it your life. Are u going to let your troubles weigh you down?
You cannot avoid problems, you just have to be prepared for them.

So don't ever let a man put you down, or tell you, you can't do this or you can't do that. Don't be worried that you won't find a man or you won't find another like the one you just lost.

The thing is there is always someone out there who will treat like you deserve to be treated (note that I didn't say want to be treated but deserve because its not always what we want that we need). He will find you.

My pops says a woman should be wooed, and her man must make her feel like she's on top of the world, he should provide for her, take care of her, protect her, cherish her.

You will always find this man.

You need to stop searching, instead focus on you, make yourself happy, build yourself up, because he can only come into your life when the time is right.

So until you are emotionally, physically and spiritually ready that special guy is not going to show so quit searching.

There are a lot of guys that are perfect for you at different stages of your life, but there will be that one guy who would fit like a glove.

But remember shit happens and you might need to fight to keep him other times you might just need to let go for another man to find you.

Quit looking, its his job to find you and if he does he won't ever let you go.

P.S: I wrote that for a friend. I hope you find what you are looking for.

*kisses &Licks*

clarity and confusion

2010-03-07T00:01:00.008Z

a lot of things have happened to me

in the past month that could potentially

win the award of most ugly experiences

ever!

but its made me realise that sometimes

some things are just beyond your control

really and there are some things you will

never understand.

and it will be annoying and frustrating

and could potentially drive you nuts

but the situation will never change and there

is nothing you can do about it but well

suck it up like a 'man' and move on

lesson learned.

i've been blogging for over a year now.

i hoped for this to be anonymous

but it never really worked out that way.

i've never really got the point of this blog

but i guess its just where i come to relieve

stress.

i don't know if i will continue to randomly blog

or if i will blog more often like i've been promising to

or if i will just close this blog

i'm not sure.

i'm not sure about a lot of things

i hoped that by writing i would get clarity.

but it seems that the more i figure

something out. the more confused i get.

maybe i will never get it.

maybe i should stop trying to figure out

what's good and what's bad

what's right and what's wrong

i'm tired of being confused.

i'm tired of being misunderstood

but more importantly,

i'm tired of not really

understanding me.

my madre says i should stop thinking

maybe that is my problem i think a lot

but then, that is what makes me, me.

cheating on me.

2010-02-06T01:36:00.010Z

ahriel's thoughts an hour after she finds out...

how could he do this?

how could he do this to me? to us?

does he not love me any more?

does he not value what we have?

twelve hours after....

is something wrong with me?

am i not good enough any more?

is she better than me? is she prettier?

what has she got that i don't?

what does she do that i don't?

her best friends voice in her head....thirty six hours after...

he is just a selfish son of a bitch!

i can't believe he would sleep

with that slut!

you can do better than this

you don't deserve this

he needs to go!

levi's thoughts after sleeping with jasmine

oh fuck! what have i done?

shit shit shit! ahriel can't find out

i am fucked if she does..

eleven hours after...

that was one helluva fuck

wow she was hot

but she doesn't compare to my girl

she was just too good to pass up

but damn my girl can't find out

forty-eight hours after...

damn damn damn! how did she find out

how will i explain that it didn't mean anything

how will i get her to forgive me?

how can i make her see its her i love?

how can i make her see its her i want?

the break up...

you are such a jerk

how could u do this to me

baby i'm sorry

it didn't mean anything

it was an honest mistake

i didn't mean to hurt you

i don't care i cant trust you

get out

i hate you

baby pls you have to

understand me

she didn't mean anything

so what was it? just

a little bit of fun?

yes baby, that's all it was

its you i want

you're the one i love

well you just lost me..

two hours before he slept with her...

hot sexy girl walks by...

levi looks and instantly gets hard

i wonder what she will feel like

with my hand through her hair

hi my name is levi

*killer smile, perfect teeth*

i'm jasmine

can i....

three days after the break up...

ahriel's thoughts

i still love him

i wasn't ready to let go

was he really telling the truth?

he was the love of my life

i want him so much

i miss him so much

what have i done?

levi's thoughts

how do i get her back?

how can i prove to her

that she is all i want?

how can i prove to her

she's the one for me

and i'm the one for her

sometimes cheating isn't such a big deal

in a relationship i guess the most important things

are or rather should be
love, trust and respect. and i don't think
any of them can exist independent of each other

but then do we actually ever really
love completely? trust completely?
respect without reservations?

a relationship at least in this
context is between two people
not three. always keep it that way.

cheating does not signify the end
of a relationship...its just another bump
yes it may be an abuse of trust
yes it can compromise your relationship
yes its a horrible thing to do
yes the hurt you feel could be devastating

in a relationship, every wrong doing is just as bad..no matter what it is
lying is just as bad as cheating.
because you are in essence abusing trust and compromising your relationship.

p.s: my birthday was good...i got so much love. and i'm grateful for the people
in my life.

one life.

2010-01-31T13:18:00.005Z

sometimes i wonder why we act with so much caution, why do we think before we act, why we always want to act right, do what's right, try to avoid mistakes, take minimal risks...

and i'm not entirely sure why we act this way...

is it to avoid problems, is it to make sure that we don't go off the rails, is it to avoid getting hurt

but no matter what we do, we will still have problems, might still go off the rails, will still get hurt

its my birthday soon. and i'm not as excited as i should be. i'm getting older and people around me keep going on about it, then i realise i haven't done anything with my life, i've experienced very little.

i act with so much caution, keep myself safe, live only in my comfort zone because i refuse to allow myself feel so vulnerable. i like feeling safe. i can go only so far and then hold myself back, keep parts of me hidden.

keep muttering to myself...hold back, just a little.

i want to experience more, do more with myself.

being safe has made me lose things i wasn't ready to give up on

its made me not have what i want sometimes

i want a kind of care free life you know

going with the flow kind of thing

take more risks, keep my eyes closed and do things

not thinking about the consequences

experience things

we only get one life.

and i want to live it.

perfection

2010-01-17T12:12:00.006Z

...is pointless.

why do we look to be perfect, when we will never be?

why do we want perfect, when it will never be?

why do we need perfection, when it will never be?

this is from a song i like...

"we're only human ohh yes we are"

i think its really important that we remember that, we sometimes get too caught up trying to make ourselves better, that we forget that we can only go so far...we weren't made to be perfect.

imperfections...

we are all imperfect
and this is what
makes us human

Hey, its been a while. I have exams and such and i'm burnt out.

studying has become a myth and other things have taken over.

i have my last exam tomorrow, somehow i will ace it.

Oh and this is for roc

yes he does...and i am trying.

i wish it was better.

2009-12-17T19:12:00.008Z

So far..my holiday sucks.

I'm not going to Lagos, so I'm sad. I don't know why mother wants to stay here for Christmas its so boring. Its snowing which makes everything worse. I've been home for like four days and all I've done is stay in bed and watch glee.

I did go to see Law Abiding Citizen with my friend the other day, awesome movie. And we had nando's after..yummy :) I heart everything chicken.

I have nothing to blog about. I just wanted to rant about how shitty my holiday has been. Did I neglect to mention that I love twitter? omg! twitter is the best, after my phone of course. Twitter allows me to blow off steam so I have no reason to blog smh. I do have some drafts, I'm just not sure I'm willing to post them...yet. I may change my mind.

My friend asked me what was the use of a boyfriend? and I have to admit that question got me thinking. I haven't got an answer yet but when I do, I'll be sure to come back and tell.

Here are some random pics off my phone.

That was my dinner one day, didn't turn out as planned.

Did I mention that I make the best indomie ever?

My friend sent me that the other day, BEWARE GUYS!

Defining Myself For Myself

2009-11-25T14:05:00.017Z

Last night I had a sudden need to explain myself to someone, but I couldn't. I realised that although I am living I am yet to define myself. It is important to me to do this...

"If you don’t define yourself for yourself then you will be crushed into other's fantasies of you and eaten alive"- Audre Lorde

One of my favourite quotes ever. Its not an easy thing to define yourself for yourself especially when you cannot explain yourself. The quote reminds me everyday the importance of being true to yourself and expressing yourself the best way you can, ignoring the consequences.

Its important not to do things because of the fear of the consequences

Good things happen

but so do

Bad things

Deal with it
we sometimes forget that the good comes with the bad

I don't believe in shielding yourself from pain

Thats not living

and it is important to me to

Live

not just exist but live.

I live by one rule - Love&Live, I say that to myself everyday. I think I am awesome, excuse my tone of conceitedness, actually scratch that I don't care.

Mediocre existence is not for me.

I mean how can there be so much out there and I will refuse to experience and feel all there is to experience, this is why I have a problem with people who don' t want to get heart broken; frankly it makes no sense to me.

Pain is essential to living, why? because its the opposite of love. and to have love you must have pain.

I want more than is handed to me. I need more than is handed to me.

But I digress. The point of this however, is to point out that I cannot define myself but I want to.

Its hard because I'm still searching for what is me.

I have strong opinions, but they change as I grow&learn more.

I have learnt a lot about myself this year, more than I have in the other 17years of my life

I have fears like everyone else, mine are just buried a lot deeper

I have aspirations like everbody else, they are just a lot more pronounced

I have dreams like everybody else, but unlike most mine comes with several plans

I will be a mighty big star one day, some day, some how

...eventhough it is necessary to define myself for myself, I don't have to do it right this very minute...I am still searching. So please understand when I say its not something I can explain, because I really do mean it literally.

I had a fun weekend doing nothing spent the time with my friend in nottingham, now I'm back to school totally swamped with work. I can wait for christmas but I can't wait for school to be over. I don't even know what I'm doing for christmas just yet...but I hope I do something fun. I already made a wishlist :) I'm hoping I get everything I want.

I think I should do something fun this weekend...need to de-stress, any ideas? oh that was from this weekend my girlies&i wanted to share.

&more random pics of my two favourite pairs of shoes &my friend jumai i ♥ them all

Oh and here is the first thing of my wishlist earrings, i lost my pair of gold studs so I need new ones and I can't decide on which one I like more...opinions are very welcome.

This one is a Tiffany beaded earring

&this is a tiffany notes earring

Welcome Back!

2009-10-22T15:31:00.000+01:00

The lights were turned low, I could smell the sweet smell of my lavender candles..

As I got closer to the room I could hear the music

Isley brothers..between the sheets

So he didn't forget our anniversary, I thought.

Smiled to myself. Then the

Anticipation

Excitement

Lust

Nervousness

Those are the only words that could describe how I felt...

We hadn't had sex in over 2 months..

Opening the door slowly & quietly so I could surprise him

Then I heard it..

The moaning, panting..

Nearly fainted because of the shock

I stood there and watched my husband of five years fuck another...

Man.

Hi guys! Its been ages.
I've just been caught up with a lot of school work and stuff.

I didn't know uni was this... I'm not sure how to describe it becasue

Stressful
Tiring
Always occupied

Don't just cut it.

I hated my first night here..I cried.

I loved the next two weeks, partied a lot. Lived the life a true fresher.

I hated my course for about a week. Now I love love it, well some of it.

Its so challenging and so thought provoking, I'm actually having a good time studying and stuff *really weird*

This is a random post in case u were wondering. I felt I was neglecting my blog.

Its 1.43 am and I'm studying some of Karl Marx's work.

I feel like I'm doing 3 courses instead of just 2. Its like philosophy is being added to my politics & economics

I have two essays already :(

I've been eating like a fool lately, I cook too much so I eat too much. I actually feel my jeans getting tighter.

The weather here is horribly cold :( I miss London.

I have to get back to my studying :) I hope everyone is having a good week.

Love & Live.

Letting Go

2009-09-03T02:18:00.016+01:00

“Your heart just breaks, that's all. But you can't judge, or point fingers."
-Audrey Hepburn

I heard my bb vibrate from underneath my pillow, I thought it was my mum with her daily 'checking up on my baby' emails.
So I ignored it for a while, angry that I'd woken up so early after all it was only 11.20 I didn't need to be up that early.

I got up layzed about the house a bit, and finally decided to read my emails..The first email I saw wasn't from mother....it was a reply to an email I had sent a million light years ago...ok that's an exaggeration it wasn't that long ago.

I read it pretty quickly, then i read it again just to be sure...

It brought back memories, memories to a time I would rather forget, memories of times when I would just sit and cry with so much pain

So I went upstairs to my room, took me a while to get there, my feet felt heavy, my heart felt weary, i was distraught, i'd been pushed back to a place where I was trying so hard to forget, I laid down and curled my self into a ball and cried...

cried till my eyes were red, cried till I had no more tears left to cry...then I thought about him

It had been a blissful couple of weeks the times we shared, it had been wonderful, I had loved and lived for our conversations...I had convinced myself that I was in love with this guy, I mean how could I not love him, he made me so happy and he was everything I wanted

But good things never last too long do they?

I read the email again...and I finally understood what she meant

Focus on yourself and your happiness, because if you don't let him go, he will be still controlling your happiness.

Funny thing is he was controlling my happiness and the sad thing is I let him do it, I mean every time I saw something about him or his girl or whatever, my heart would go all funny on me and I would hate him, then I would remember everything he said..

all the hoping and wishing for a time when we could be together, but then its like I had an epiphany, I'd been holding on to something that wasn't real anymore, holding on to false hope, and false dreams, but shit having a broken heart had to be the most emotionally damaging thing ever...

People have to be held responsible for their choices, and if he chose someone else, then he has to understand that he lost you as a result

I was coming to realise that holding out for him to somehow find his way back to me wasn't healthy, harbouring all this bad feelings towards him wasn't healthy, wishing that one day he'd catch on that I was the one for him was definitely not healthy

simply put i had to let go.

but shit wasn't easy.

still isn't

Moving on is simple, it’s what you leave behind that makes it so difficult

I made a promise to myself that morning, that if I was letting go, it meant no turning back.

I do not wish to erase my memories of him, rather I wish to feel all the hurt and the pain, because I know there will be such a time when this feeling will be but a distant memory, and my memories of him will be blurry.

It's really painful to say goodbye to someone that you don't want to let go

p.s: i'll put the wedding pics up soon, i promise.

p.p.s: this is dedicated to anyone who is going through a hard time

D&G Topless Sexiness

2009-08-30T13:58:00.014+01:00

I'm not a big fan of D & G, to be honest I'd actually prefer to stay away from them. But this is an exception. I'm in love with all things sexy and this caught my attention.

I was in front of the train station one day and a bus went past with this D & G ad

Its the ad campaign for D&G's Fragrance Anthology with some 90's supermodels - Naomi Campbell, Eva Herzigova, Claudia Schiffer and some younger male models (who if I might add are extremely hot) Fernando Fernandes, Noah Mills and Tyson Ballou in the ads for their new fragrance shot by Mario Testino.

These ad's are really sexy and for someone like me it could really make me fall in love with D&G - I like the simplicity and sexiness - its almost divine.

The fragrances are unisex, they've already been launched in america but there's a global launch set for September...I can't wait to try them out. To add a mysterious twist on things, the names for the five scents were inspired by tarot cards - Le Bateleur 1, L’Imperatrice 3, L’Amoreaux 6, La Roue de la Fortune 10, and La Lune 18.

This I think is the sexiest of all

uni bound...

2009-08-28T22:10:00.002+01:00

I haven't been here in a while, I've just been super busy sorting out my uni stuff and I've been travelling a lot lately. First off, yours truly as luu would say is now a big girl lol...I AM OFFICIALLY A UNI STUDENT lol like I have an ID number and a dorm room and everything.

I am super duper excited.

but....

I'm not sure I want to study economics and politics anymore now :( like I saw the modules I have to study and I am scared of the maths in economics lol and somehow politics has just lost its appeal.

the only reason I was going to study both was because I really enjoyed economics at A levels and I've just always been fascinated and interested by politics...I am not looking to get a career out of either because I want to do PR lol but don't ask why I'm not studying something like journalism.

i'm scared of maths because I really don't like it, like I can do it, force myself to get through and get good grades but I honestly don't enjoy studying it...me and numbers, well we just don't flow...and I haven't done maths in 2 yrs.....like wtf am I going to do??

reason I didn't pick media or journalism is because i felt it was too restrictive, i wanted something versatile something that would allow me do most things and i'm not sure studying media or journalism would allow me to do that.

when i graduate I wanna do PR...mostly fashion PR like runway shows etc or work in a magazine...(because some day I want to own my own)...so thats the dream.

so what should I do people? do I change to do something like media and communications, journalism etc. (where i know i would really enjoy studying it)..or just stick it out...

plus people have been putting me off you know, saying I'm crazy to be doing combined honours...but whatever.

i'm just uber confused, help me somebody, please.

yeah so i'm going uni shopping soon im super excited i can't wait.

and the best part peoples is that IM MOVING away lol to a whole new city....so excited...but I'm gonna miss London tho.

so i just wanted to come say hey to ppl's and i did promise a proper post last time right?...forgive me, I will post something soon.

New Beginnings

2009-08-22T08:33:00.007+01:00

First off I want to say thank you to people who actually read my blog lol...I don't know what this blog is about anymore...it started off with me posting what I found fascinating about fashion but now its just me and my scattered thoughts.

Yeah and since I broke my phone and fixed it (I actually fixed it myself) I lost all my bbm contacts :( and I'm always looking to make new friends so add me if you want
PIN: 2101DE8C

Btw to anyone who has a bb did that 5.0 thing mess up your phone because it seriously fucked mine over.

Oh yes I was watching the news this morning lol and apparently the french people are tired of people dealing in the fake designer industry lol.
So in France selling/carrying a fake designer handbag is a white collar crime and you could pay a fine if they catch yo, lol apparently fakes might kill you..ohh and it includes everything - fake PSP's, football shirts etc

LMAO imagine if they did that in Lagos....govt revenue will definitely go up

I promise to post something on here tonight I just need to get the pictures first.

I'm a bit worried.

2009-08-19T19:01:00.003+01:00

First off results are out tomorrow and everyone is irritating me with the way they are all stressing, I refuse to stress and when I say this to people all they say is oh its cause ur smart u have nothing to worry about...smh

ok so maybe I am smart and I get really good grades BUT I did fuck up my IT exam...I don't like that subject so I'm not sure I did that great but no worries....I don't see the point of stressing it wont change the result so why bother.

Anyways the reason I'm here today is because I just read this http://www.vanguardngr.com/2009/08/14/boko-haram-ressurects-declares-total-jihad/

thats seriously disturbing shit....lol I never knew people like this existed outside of Arab nations *no offence to the Arabs*

what bothered me about what this sect is saying is the part about bombing Lagos lol please oh don't bomb my lovely smelly city I mean I love that place and it is already so chaotic as it is.

I don't get their beef with Lagos tho what has the city done to them.??

I don't like people who always have the idea that they can change the world, they are all very foolish...and the govt. better do something because I want to go to Lagos for christmas lol.

Anyways thats why I came on here I thought it would be good for people to read this crazy talk.

The people seem to have an issue with other tribes especially the yoruba people, whats up with that?

This begs the question why are nigerians generally so tribalist??? thats what my next post is going to be about.

p.s: the guy in the picture has man boobs ewwww

depression

2009-08-16T17:22:00.004+01:00

i'm so upset today.

my friends been bugging me to get the new bbm and i did, this morning
but its like my phone has a mind of its own now

i've lost my bbm
lost my facebook
lost my msn
and all my contacts too

i can't even find the email icon anymore
like wtf has happened to my phone

i am depressed
yes you can say i'm addicted to it

i don't care

i love my phone
its like my best friend

now its not working right

so yeah i'm depressed

maybe i'll go to the shop tomorrow to have them fix it

i'm so mad right now

but if anyone knows how to fix it tell me

still make sure u update your blog roll

houseoflore.blogspot.com

important news

2009-08-12T16:28:00.006+01:00

hey peoples

im changing the url for this blog to houseoflore.blogspot.com

if you have me on your bloglist

please update

and yeah its Miss Loré now :)

Till Death Do Us Path

2009-08-04T10:22:00.003+01:00

....that shit is scary.

thats the only part of my brothers wedding i paid attention to, i was really tired you see i hadn't slept the night before so i was struggling to keep awake

but that woke me up. i mean that is a vow, it's not SUPPOSED to be broken, but we do anyways - lately i've been thinking about why people even bother to get married.

my brother who just got married - him and his wife - they've been together something close to 9yrs - practically live together - they are in love - what difference will a piece of paper make?

i honestly don't get it, i want to get married - eventually lol - but i think its more to do with the fact i get to wear that oscar de la renta wedding dress i want so bad and i get to have a traditional wedding in a cathederal (thats what i want) - it has nothing to do with wanting to spend the rest of my life with someone - at least for now thats what i think.

i'm not so religious so i don't really know the bible that well, but from what i know, i know that once you're married you are not supposed to get divorced and if you do, you can't get married again because that adultery - well at least thats what someone told me.

but what if your husband beats you, are u supposed to stick with him? or are you supposed to leave...if you leave does that mean you can't find someone else?
my cousin says pray - i think don't give me that bullshit - like i know praying is good and it helps - but i mean beating on you thats a real bad situation - and what if the situation doesn't change?

but on the other hand, i believe God can do anything, so he won't let you marry someone who will beat on you, but what if he let the man beat on you to tell that you are in a bad situation and you need to leave...

i hope you get it.

but really why do we even bother to get married? we don't need to wait for marriage to have sex, its legal from when you are 16 - at least thats what the law says - you don't need to get married to live together - you don't need to be married to have a kid anymore - i mean 13 year olds have kids - you don't need both parents to raise a kid - shout out to all single mum's and dad's

so is it just ANOTHER formality?

at my sis in law's bridal shower, everyone kept saying someting about being 'ripe for marriage' or the right age to be married - that made me laugh - i figured its not about finding someone you want to spend your life with, its about being at an age when you should be married?

really what is the essence of marriage??

i hope when i do get married - (i really want to wear that wedding dress) - it will be because i have actually find someone i want to spend the rest of my life with -not really because of the dress.

i'm back to the rainy country -sadly - i miss lagos. i can't wait to go back christmas.

tinsy winsy bitsy update.

2009-07-22T13:14:00.012+01:00

so i'm in lagos and i've been so busy its ridiculous, my mum has me doing cartwheels for her running around everywhere. every morning when i wake up its 'ehen u have to go with mr k to give this to mrs something for me' or 'you have to go and give this aso oke to another mrs something', like the woman is a nutter, she's driving me crazy.

the party was great from last Saturday, i think i had too much fun tho, but it wasn't really my fault like my boss (shout out to A) said i didn't have to work (i was supposed to be in charge of the charity stuff etc) he said 'just have fun, i'm sure you would rather do that. lol
so i made friends with the bartenders and they kept me occupied the whole night, but i paid for it, we had to keep stopping on the way home so i could puke lol - pretty gross, i know.

you know when you are away from lagos and you miss it and you can't wait to come back, but once you are out here the traffic, bad roads, no light, the heat, everything just hits you and you are like what the hell was i thinking, but that's why we love lagos init? its such a funny place so much happening.

so i'm getting real excited about the wedding now, everyone is here so the house is packed, but i love love it, we are actually spending family time, talking and harassing each other, i never knew i missed my brothers this much.

so earlier today me and my brothers where all talking about stuff and reminiscing about old times and it made me realise how much i should appreciate my family.

they are the most annoying people on earth, they make you so mad you might have to be put in a loony bin, but that's why you love them, because after all the madness they are the ones you lean on and love. they are the ones who will love you even if you become a murderer, they are the ones who know your most embarrassing moments but still love you because of who you are.
they are the ones who support you no matter what, they are the ones who make you laugh the most and who make you cry. they are the ones who understand your weaknesses and call you out on your bs, they are the ones will love you even if they don't understand you. they are the ones who will love you unconditionally.

so hold on to them tight, keep them close, appreciate them, don't wait till its a special occasion to get together.

most importantly, love them with no reservation, hold nothing back, let them see the real you so they can love you more, and when they don't act like they love you, love them even more. its the best feeling in the world.

p.s: how is everyone doing?? i hope your week is going great.

p.p.s: there is no light in lagos, so if u are coming be prepared, oh and its raining here - a lot- i thought i left all the stupid rain in london, but i guessed wrong.

so far

2009-07-15T11:46:00.005+01:00

i just feel the need to blog this morning, i have a couple of things i want to say but i can't be bothered to finish the posts just yet.

i've been really ill, in fact violently ill this past couple of days - i had swine flu - yuuup i know sad init. and my family locked me up in a room they didn't want to risk contamination from me, very sad people, so yesterday i finally saw the outside world yaay by that i mean i actually went downstairs after like 3 and a half days holed up in my room. it was heaven lol (did i tell you the house is getting redocorated?) well so they finished the living rooms its all pretty and i played boxing on the wii and it felt greaaaaaaaaaaat i am almost pro at boxing now wooop woooop its really cool because i suck at every game except the sims

oh yes i did some pilates with my cousin. it was painful i didn't realise i was so unfit its insane.

anyways been on my own for those days i realised what prisoners must be going through it was terror insane inhumane treatment, ok so maybe i slept for the most part, listened to music etc then i think on monday i could actually talk on the phone and go on msn..i appreciate people even more now.

so i thought about a lot of random stuff:

i thought about dying, i was scared and my mum wasn't helping matters she was majorly freaking out, she's in lagos atm so she was on the phone every second is my baby ok etc? i think she felt worse than i did. i love you mum.

i thought about aliens, yes i believe there are aliens i am 100% convinced that we are not the only life forms in the galaxy, i mean really i'm not joking, i also believe somehow they have invaded our planets; many people seeing UFO's has to mean something right? then we have people like Janelle Monaé that girl is straight up freaky weird strange all rolled into one but starngely dope lol i like her but i still know she's an alien in human form.

does anyone else believe this?? or is it just one of the strange things being ill does to you??

so im heading off to lagos on sunday, im really excited maybe this shitty holiday will get better, i spoke to my mum last night, she said i just want you to be 100% when u come back and i got this weird feeling with the way she said it its like she wants us to actually hang out and go crazy over this wedding - my bro is getting married btw - lol i just hope she realises i don't plan on being at home much.

did i forget to mention i'm going to this party on sat, its called icecapade - i hope it turns out good ok so its not really a party for me - i intern for the guy throwing it so more like work - but if anyone wants to come holla - i dunno if tickets are still on sale but whatever.

hope everyone has had a fabulous week so far, and if u haven't well its just weds i think so make the rest count.

but make sure you have a nucleeeeeear weekend, because i plan to. (shout out to cc for that word, she's so fucking awesome for that word)

smile its a beautiful day.

a beautiful affair

2009-07-05T11:08:00.022+01:00

i have had the longest craziest week ever and an even crazier longer weekend. i had a family wedding this week so a lot of family members were/are running around here...

so we have a couple of people staying over, i wish they would just go to a hotel or go back home like the wedding is over now...i'm not been dread or anything its just i feel so irritated with all these kids that just eat all day, lack manners arrghh!! driving me nuts

plus the house is getting renovated so we have like no space its just messy and these people just impose themselves but you can't turn away family can you? wish i could.

anyways the wedding was absolutely beautiful, i'm still waiting for the official pictures so excited...i have some i got from my cousin's camera i don't know why i didn't take my camera :(
so it was such a fabulous day we danced almost all night long and i'm 1000% everyone had a good time. the venue was just beautiful i mean the scenery omg just beautiful.

i have a couple of unfinished posts i'm not sure whether i want to finish them or start new ones. but today im going to talk about random stuff

its 4.21am and i'm eating pasta bake and reading bossip (google it if you don't know what i'm talking about) it has made my night. like whoever writes the post is sucha funny person, i'm not sure its the gossip that attracts me but the way it is written is just so fucking hillarious.

tonight my cousin pissed me the fuck off, she said im naive and she said i live in a little bubble, and that really pissed me off, im like WTF!!
in that instant i just felt like she didn't understand me at all and thats such a shame because she is practically my sister, she MUST understand me.
i hate when people make comments like that i admit i live in a bubble sometimes, but no i am not naive its just that the way my mind works well its different from most people and people don't get that.

has anyone heard Whitney's new single, aww do you really think she is going to make a real comeback like seriously i love Whitney but damn i dunno...

im so sad that federer won, i don't even know why i just wanted roddick to win, oh well there is next year and i'm happy andy murray didn't get to the finals not that i expected him to anyways

i'm going to leave you with some pictures from the wedding

tried to get a good pic of everyone, sadly this is it

doesn't that look so yummy??

beautiful people

tried to find a good pic of the scenery, sadly this is it

Japan Inspired

2009-06-28T21:22:00.006+01:00

So i think i'm starting to fall in love with Japan....their culture, politics, art, fashion, life style fascinates & inspires me...i think i should really book a flight to Tokyo or maybe Kyoto, i even find the name yummylicious.

I adore the geisha's and their kimono's they look adorable, has anyone ever seen a noh performance??? its super cool apparently its been in existence since the 14th century... and has anyone heard the pop band j-pop funny stuff, but its cute lol and who can forget the sumo wrestlers lol u have to admit that is just a funny and seriously unnecessary sport lol but thats their thing, their architecture, even their tea ceremony, their haiku's (poem's) and the fact they have their own vogue??? yuuup they do. what most people don't realise is that Japan is actually a force in the fashion industry, it first made its big debut in the fashion world in 1982 when 12 Japanese designers showed their collection in the paris pret-a-porter shows...

now think Elie Saab S/S 09 that was Japanese insipired, besides designers looking to them for inspiration they are some wonderful japanses designers - Issie Miyake, Kenzo, Hanae Mori etc their style Japonaiserie - made a big impact on contemporary fashion - their use of inventive shapes and monochrome tones, particularly the use of black - i have a love/hate relationship with the colour - they have become trend setters and yeah they are have nothing on the italians and the french but they are designers in their own right. google - Keita Maruyama - great stuff

what i think i really love about japan, is the way they are so modern but hold on tightly to their traditions, its amazing the way they do.

im going to leave you with some amazing pics of japanese things that inspire/fascinate me

LV shoot fot Japanese Vogue, very futuroid

chanel pret-a-porter show in tokyo (i love chanel)

Yohji Yamamoto for Doc Martin - Designer

Should i get that for my tat??

Issie Miyake - Designer

Comme des Garcons - Designer

Hanae Mori - Designer

Noh - Traditional Japanese Theatre

Sumo Wrestling - National Sport

J-Pop Japans #1 band

what do you find fascinating now?

wooooosahhhhhhhh!!!

2009-06-23T01:33:00.009+01:00

the title is wosaaaah because today was theraputic.

before i start, i want to say thank you to the wonderful people in my life. and no this does not include any member of my family because they are pissing me off atm, yes everyone single one of them. this is directed at one of the most wonderful friends in the world..luu, she really is an amazing person and im so happy that i have her in my life. i love her too much even when she shouts at me lol i still love her, she's been a rock for some time now, so yeah im basically saying thank you for being there. and to uzo, thank you for listening to all my ramblings and frustrations and weird reasonings and questions and rationalising things with me.

so today was an amazing day, i had the bestest time with my girlies (nixx and mel), we went camden and i discovered an amazing up &coming japanese designer, he sells great tshirts and i fell in love with lace in this real pretty japanese lady's store.

so lately i've been reading about Japan...a lot and it's so amazing, im planning a holiday there soon, their art, culture, fashion oh the fashion is soo amazing. i wont digress too much.

anyone who reads this blog will know that i have been fighting some serious inner battles lately, and i will tell you this shit hasn't been easy lol, but im happy now, like i've had this stupid smile on my face all day its ridiculous.

i love learning, i learn from everything, people, experiences, places, food, anything i learn from it. so when shit like this happens i take it as a learning experience. i see it as a chance for me to grow and for me to be a better person.

i'm not sure i want to talk about the reason for the hurt, but someone hurt me really badly and as luu will say "theres no harm in making mistakes" lol. im starting to believe that, i think im starting to enjoy the mistakes i've made in my life, because you see i'm a very stubborn person and i guess i have to experience something to truly learn from it. i am very inquisitive, i wont stop till i get the answers i want/need so i guess thats the reason for this.

trying to get answers to why my heart was crumbling was the reason for the battles, i tried to understand logically what had happend, i wanted to know when things changed, i wanted to know how they changed without me realising, i just wanted answers and i got them, last night lol

i was supposed to come back to talk to luu last night but i had dishes to wash and then i started thinking about stuff and then i got carried away talking to my cuzzy and somehow i slept, sorry for leaving you hanging yesterday luu lol.

so i realised that it all went wrong because i had only listened. words. i have learnt that words can't do shit for me and i dont like them. i really honestly don't like words, i need to see you do what you say you mean. i need to stop listening and start seeing &feeling.

words are empty, if you want me to believe you, i need to feel what you are saying.
don't tell me things you think i want to hear, its not a nice thing. i prefer raw unadulterated honesty i can handle it.

i'm not completely healed, but im getting there.

cogitate

2009-06-21T11:29:00.016+01:00

i watched the best man last night, and i cried myself to sleep after.
i've watched this movie at least a 30 times, no lie, but i never really got it till last night. it really is a beautiful movie and it made me realise something important.

lately i've been thinking hard, real hard which is never ever a good thing with me. and i've concluded that the situation i'm in...well it sucks, really sucks.

yesterday someone sent me a song, she said it reminded her of me, i didn't really like the song but i got the message.. "breaking these chains" thats what it said to me.
this week has been an emotional rollercoaster for me, i went from sad to happy back to sad then to indifferent and now just really really sad.

so i decided i can't live like this anymore, i can't hope pray wish for something to happen even if it may happen. i don't like woulda-coulda-shoulda's so i never hope pray wish for anything, i never look to see what the future will-should-can-may hold for me. but for once i did and it was a mistake, a very big mistake.

my friend says everything happens for a reason, im not sure i believe that. i learnt this week
1. never to rely on people
2. never rely on someone else to make you happy
3. loving someone is giving them the power to hurt you
4. to stop being the idiot i've been
5. when doubts start to creep in, you MUST let go

im one of those people that believe love &heartbreak come together, i don't believe they are seperate, i believe that at some point in your life, someone you love will hurt you, it doesn't have to be something overwhelming, it could be the most trifling thing in the world but because you love, it hurts.

its wonderful to love, i love being in love, i love loving its the most wonderful feeling. its kind, its patient, its understanding, its forgiving, its sweet, its loyal, its supportive, its tolerant, its respectful.

but when it hurts. you feel like your world has just come crashing down. you feel so lost, so alone, everything is distorted, its not as it should be. you are left broken, damaged and you are all alone to pick up the pieces - that i think is the worst feeling ever.

i embrace both.

when i watched the best man last night, i saw what love for what it really is, i saw that no matter how many times someone fucks up, if they still love you and you them, you shouldn't give up on them.
i saw that fucking up should not destroy something, it should only make you realise how special what you have is, and how much you should preserve it.
i saw what woulda-coulda-shoulda type of love for what it was, it doesn't allow you to give yourself 100% to another, it prevents you from seeing whats right in front of you, even if in your mind you think its perfect, its not, because nothing is perfect.

this is the kind of love that is dangerous. it may end up being the wonderful feeling you want it to be. but the truth is that life happens and with life comes change, its inevitable, people change, things change, and when they do, that love will change. so hoping praying wishing for something that has changed is never sensible, its like hoping to go back in time.

so this is the question i've been asking all week, how do you when its the right time to let go? i figured when things change, let go, when you doubt, let go, when it doesn't feel right, its not right, so let go.

letting go is not very easy. i think its one of the hardest things ever. but in time everything will be fine. even if i know its true, i find it hard to believe.

but this is the battle i've been fighting with myself all weekend, i went out thursday night with a couple of the girlies, it was a lovely night. but then the thinking started. it went back and forth between religion &relationships. this is a story for another day lol its unhealthy really because i think im more confused than ever. i will not digress.

...live for the moment, never again will i hope-pray-wish for anything again. i'm not saying i don't have goals, aspirations, wants, desires but i will create as many paths as i can to get them, but thats just me, i don't like rules, i dont like restrictions.

mumblings.a hottie &a treat

2009-06-17T03:00:00.013+01:00

so i finished my exams today.super excited but i'm a lil sad today...i should be sleeping but i think i have insomia...like i havent slept in two days and today i've tried everything.i even washed my hair at 3.40 am so i could feel relaxed but nothing seems to be working *sigh* oh well.

lately i've been thinking mark ronson is such a hottie, like for real he sooo is yuuuumy...i've had his album - version - on repeat for a couple of days now...he is so talented.love love him. you should totally get that album if you don't have it. the only weird thing about him is that he's related to sam ronson (yes linsday's ex she boyfrend..i know strange) *shivers* thats so creepy, i can't imagine how they have the same mami & papi and she is so, well fucking weird lol.
ok enough of the randomness.

<< mark ronson

now for the purpose of this post...the treat..the amazingness that is CHRISTOPHER BAILEY!!!

Like for real he is one of my inspirations so when i saw this on selectism i just had to share. He is one of the most talented designers ever - i'm into the whole simple chic basic but oozing with luxury look (dunno if u get what i mean lol) , that's my thing and he never disappoints, especially those yuumy trench coats.... for anyone who doesn't know who he is (seriously doubt that lol) he is creative designer of burberry..which means he basically runs the whole show...designing for all of burberry's collection lines, ad campaigns, creative direction etc... what i love most about him is that he seems so humble and i'm not a big fan of burberry, but the transformation that he has done there in the eight years he worked for them, its nothing short of amazing, like burberry used to be dull with all the plaid nonsense lol, but now its just simple.nice.chic.luxurious - the perfect basic collection.

so check out the behind the scenes for the A/W 2009 Burberry Prorsum campaign. Photographer: Mario Testino
Designed by: duuuh Christopher Bailey
Star of the campaign: Actress - Emma Watson
Location: Westminster

This campaign already looks so fabulous like it has most my favourite things ever...B&W, male models, trench coats, christopher bailey...

christopher bailey (left)

Screaming Bloody Murder...

2009-06-09T21:56:00.005+01:00

...genocide, ethnic cleasing call it anything you want but this is just disgusting, as if the genocide in Bosnia, Rwanda and Cambodia aren't reason enough for everyone to know what happens when we leave all the situations until its to late - SMH
I feel deeply for the suffering going on in Darfur and I feel we (the whole world) owes it to them to help in any way we can.

This whole situation started in 2003 when a region - Darfur(comprised mostly of black people) decided it had, had enough of the neglect from the government and decided that they wanted a greater share in politcal power and for the government to address their poor living standards. And as most fucked up military governments will act they decide oh why don't we just get the army to kill off these muthafuckers who are interfering with our fucked up way of ruling rather than face other regions (also being neglected) rise up and try to challenge our governace - they called it a rebellion - I call it demanding their rights.

So far nearly half a million people have been killed, a further 2.5 million displaced. There has been mass execution, women being raped in front of their loved ones, men chained together and thrown into burning huts etc all this is by an arab militia sponsored and supported by the governement their job - to kill of the black people in Darfur, isn't this hatred surpassing the level of the KKK and all other weirdos who needed to kill black people to make them feel better about themselves.

Personaly i think the extent of the damage done is worse, when aid is not allowed and people will rather risk loosing their lives by leaving refugee camps because of lack of food to go back to where they will most likely be killed to get food, you have to know something is seriously wrong.

I don't think we need anymore evidence that these people are suffering at the hands of greedy hateful bastards and sadly, we are doing nothing about it.
I am so annoyed by this, labeling it the 'worst humanitarian crisis in the world today' doesn't do shit, its not a fucking humanitarian crisis its fucking genocide, i swear on that stupid list that the UN has on genocide and ways to prevent at stage - denial - thats when we (international community) are supposed to react and do something about it so I don't see why the whole world is just watching while this shit happen. (wiki it if you don't know what I'm talking about)

This is why when scientist research into stuff just to come out with random ridiculousness like black people are just genetically dumb, its in our DNA bla bla bla, I'm like is that really important to know (not that I accept it) but even if it was true how the fuck does that solve the problems in the world. Instead of using their research to find how to make better nuclear bombs to threaten the sudan gov into abondoning their crazy genocide antics they are using it to express how much they want to degrade black people, really what is wrong with the world?? - i swear i think scientists need a shrink or rehab or something to save them from this unhealthy attitude.

(Ignore the typo and any other errors, I was on a 30 mins break from studying - I have 2 exams on fri - wish me luck&& pray for me lol)
Oh and sorry for the pic, it makes me sad every time i see it.

Things I'm Grateful For

2009-06-01T00:29:00.003+01:00

I am officially not a sixthformer anymore (as of last Friday) lol, like really haha but I'm not as happy as I thought I'd be.

My brother is gettin married soon in july, he was here for a week last week, I miss him, will never admit that to him.

My daddy is coming soon, in like a week im super excited, I'm a daddy's girl (and a mummy's girl too)

I have exams...I think im going to do well, even if I can't study and I've had this annoying flu

My baby is going to be one in July, still super excited

For the first time in nearly ten years my entire family will be in one place at once for at least a week, quite an achievement

I'm going to uni this year...finally TOTAL INDEPENDENCE from the rents

....those are the major things in my life I'm happy about and grateful for

Random I know.

The One&So Many Others

2009-05-20T12:18:00.010+01:00

This morning on my way to school I started thinking of marriage and the one, mostly because I read this book yesterday - Tell Me Something Adele Parks - beautiful read.

Who is this 'the one' is this someone who you are so emotionally, sexually, physically, spritually in tune with, someone who is your all, someone who you can't live without, someone who you need.want.desire, someone who is there for you, someone who is your partner is everything???
is it possible that only one person in the entire world with its 6.77 billion population, to me that just sounds silly.

I think that we are somehow restricted to who we marry, the people we meet, the people we see, the people we grow up with, work with, go to school with, somehow one of them ends up being our wive's/hubby's. But are these people 'the one' or do we just settle for the next best thing.
What if you live somewhere in a jungle, in some place in Africa and your 'the one' is some muslim girl, in some middle eastern desert who has already been bethrowed to some alhaji?? how do you marry this 'the one'

I think this idiocity that everyone is chasing, hoping and praying for, that they find 'the one' who will automatically make their lives so much better is absolute rubbish.
Just like a lot of things to me its a myth.
I believe that we have control over who we date/marry..I understand when people say oh the have to be emotionally, sexually, physically, spritually in tune with whoever they marry, I get that because I feel the same way

What I don't believe in is 'the one' I don't believe that out of the billions of people on earth we only have one soulmate

I know exactly what I want in a man& i will never settle
If and when I get married it has to be because I have found someone perfect for me
I will not say I will be married forever, because there are no gurantees in life
He might fuck up.I might fuck up.We might grow apart&if we do, I am not afraid of a divorce

&if he was 'the one' what do I do??

He wouldn't be 'the one'.He would have been someone perfect for me.But he's gone.So I will get up, cry, get my shit together,and live without him again, because before him I did it without him.

I think I can make whoever I choose to be what I want. I don't think there is the one. I do think I can find someone perfect for me.and if he leaves.I can always find another someone perfect for me.
In eseence there is no the one, to me there are 'so many others'

Music&Frustrations...

2009-05-20T11:26:00.010+01:00

...that's what this playlist is called.
I'm so frustrated today, haven't really been to school much in the past 3 weeks so I have a lot of cathcing up to do, and the work is drowning me so music is where I find solace..here's the playlist

Picture Perfect - Adreena Mills
Slow - Jamie Foxx
Like a Star - Corrine Bailey Rae
Heartbreaker - Tank
Best I Ever Had - Drake
Kleptomaniac - Brutha
A Beautiful Mess - Jason Mraz
So beautiful - Musiq Soulchild
Chasing Pavements - Adele
She's Not You - Raheem Devaughn
Birthday Sex - Jeremiah
Bang Bang - Brutha
Freakin' Me - Jamie Foxx ft Marsha Ambrosuis
Violet Stars Happy Hunting - Janelle Monae
Sweetest Taboo - Sade
Disappear - Beyonce
Coyotes - Jason Mraz
Please Don't Stop The Rain - James Morrison
Be On You - Flo Rida ft.Ne Yo
Right Round - Flo Rida
Give It To Me Right - Melaine Fiona
The Way You Make Me Feel - MJ
Angel - Game ft. Common

What are you listening to? Let me Know..

Check out this band - Tinawiren if you are into blues and guitar playing that sort of thing...i found them while watching inside africa on cnn lol

They are some band from Mali somewhere....

Throwback Moment

2009-05-18T23:40:00.002+01:00

I am going to do so many throwback moments from now on lol. I just found an old old picture album and the pictures are HILLARIOUS lol but I won't post the too embarrassing one's, actually scratch that I might just do that.

Yeah so throwback moment - I'll start from...my earliest scary moment.

My excuse for the picture is that I was young an naive lol...so I looked for the best pic to match the throwback moment and here it is *drumrolls please*

Thats me and puffin and thelittle person there is wahala inc. (lol thats my special name for her cuz i swear that girl is trouble), we were about 7ish 8ish in this

I was about 7 I think when I watched this movie Nneka, fuck! I'm even still scared talking about it now (does anyone remember that movie??) - the part that scared the crap out of me was the part when the cat turned into a woman in front of car *defining moment of my life* ever since then my faith in God has been unshackable - I was scared outta my mind after that movie for about a year >> I was scared to go upstairs by myself, stay anywhere by myslef, sleep in my bed (constatnt companion on mammi and papi's bed) to be honest I'm still scared.
And second scariest bit..when she was walking on the beach lol and saying Tony! Tony! Tony! like whoever wrote the scripts damn that's all I'm saying.

With a throwback memory comes a throwback song, one of my favourite oldies
Give it up for Etta James (gottta love that woman)

Is It Yours??

2009-05-17T14:08:00.006+01:00

I don't have body insecurities, I'm happy the way I am. I'm petite and happy lol I don't wish to be taller, I don't wish to be fatter (anymore) so I don't take offence when people say omg your so small.

I don't work out
I don't eat right
Never liked fruits&Never will
I will only drink orange juice (mostly because my mum used to ram it down my throat when I was younger)
Most unhealthy person I know
I rarely drink water
I'm mostly have junk food over cooked food
I love my greasy fried food
I will not substitute my eating habits for a healthier one

I guess I'm one of those lucky fuckers that whatever they eat somehow doesn't show and trust me I am a big eater (not always been one but im reformed now and iLove food)

But today's post is about some stupid ignorant heffer who couldn't keep his mouth shut that got me all annoyed this wonderful sunday afternoon

He's always referred to my tummy as fat (it is not) this comment has only slightly annoyed me before now i just took as as a flippant-nothing-to-say-so-I'll-comment-about your-tummy-kinda comment but with the extra "..you know I would prefer it slimmer..." pissed me the fuck off.

You know what else took the piss he dropped the "...i want to make it mine" like oh lawdy lord, if not for puffin I'm sure I would have said somethings I would regret.

Even if he was my man does that give him the right to tell me that??? especially when it's not??
I am not one of those people that take comments to heart but this one pissed me off..cuz I was thinking ok so maybe you like me and in your weird twisted retarted way of thinking you think if I go out with you, my body becomes yours?? is that line of thought even logical, legal??
Note at this point I don't even like him so you must know how irritating I found this comment.

I don't think anyone would understand how the foolishness out of this boys mouth got on my nerves. I am me, I don't like people telling me what to do, even my parents, I do what I do when&how I want to. I don't ask for permission to do anything, never will. I am me just me, so for someone to make a stupid comment about my body and how they would prefer it......oh gosh I don't want to ramble on but this is a notice to everyone

I am no one's property..never have&never will be
I am my own
If I do get married I will still be my own
I look how I look because God made me that way
I am what I am because I allow myself to be that way
Never ever tell me how you would prefer me to look
because God help me
It only takes four muscles for me to bitch slap you upside your head
and trust me I will

Doodles

2009-05-13T23:50:00.004+01:00

I'm on my bed extremely bored. I have a ton of work to do but I'm not in the mood, I haven't been to school for the past two days because I'm lazy, no motivation, I don't even know whats wrong with me all I want to do is sleep and eat I think I might be pregnant but I don't think thats possible.

But first of all let me introduce you guys to my baby>> Jemimah...she's the most beautiful baby on the planet.
She's learning how to talk and she's crawling too I'm so excited, I'm planning a super party for her 1st birthday lol. It's the day before my brothers wedding so my entire fam should be there so we will have a good time, but I need HELP on ideas please

ain't she adorable?

Oh and before I forget, I wanted to introduce you to my brother (Tai's) blog lol - www.tarealtalk.blogspot.com - for all of you who like to read/talk/think about important stuff he's your guy but a bit of a sporadic blogger - blame his job and endless partying.

And btw, I'm going to start throwback posts very soon -funny, sad, embarrassing, scary, defining moments of my life. I just need to find all the pictures and it will be sorted.

It's my brothers birthday soon, he's turning 27 so I need help picking out a present for him, I want something memorable...

And if anyone knows where I can find a 1965 mustang please let me know

I thought...

2009-05-12T11:50:00.006+01:00

...about you yesterday and I cried.

I cried because I miss you.
I cried because you are not here to talk to.
I cried because I haven't thought about you in ages.
I cried because I remembered your funeral

I miss you so much my big boyfriend.
I miss how you used to call me your little girlfriend, our little inside joke.
I miss going to your house every sunday I was home with mum
I miss lying on your bed together talking
I miss you forcing me to eat

I wish you where here yesterday, Puffin turned 18, yes g.pa your little babies are grown
I wish you were here for my birthday
I wish you could be here in the summer when Tomi get's married
I wish you could see my baby Jemimah now, she's so big and she's learning to talk

I'm sad I wasnt there that summer when you died
I'm sad that I didn't have more time with you
I'm sad that you are not here to talk to me anymore

I pray I have a son, so I can name him after you
and I hope he will be just like you
Kind
Sweet
Tolerant and
Loving

I miss you grand pa and I know you are watching over us

My lovely g.pa and my cousin

We are not all equal get the fuck over it!!

2009-05-06T18:17:00.003+01:00

Now I can almost breathe, I have nearly finished my ICT coursework...it has taken me a month of endless sleep deprived nights, filled with staring at a computer screen for nearly 16 hrs almost daily, constantly skipping *Dave's economics lessons* to keep up with the pace (only an excuse really I hate his lessons...so boring), neglecting all my law & eco work, but it is has nearly come to an end and I'm almost happy except, for the piece of info my aunty just gave me; because 5 people in a school have swine flu all the alevels people won't have their exams, they can just sit back get their predicted grades and well go to uni in Sept??? I hope I'm not the only sane one left on the planet but are they mad??? like come on that is sooooo unfair, how can I be here slaving my ass off everyday not sleeping more than 3hrs a day but some mofo's don't have to do that to get into uni, so once again the law makers in this country are silly because that has to be the second most stupid decision ever after taxes.

Why should they get off, if they are then everybody else should, so yes mr education minister whoever you are, you will be getting a letter from me. I demand not to do my a level exams if some people are getting off because I'm on the verge of going crazy with work.

Which brings me to today's post...WE ARE NOT ALL EQUAL GET THE FUCK OVER IT!!! I am a firm believer in my theory, I don't think that for a second that everyone should be treated the same because they are not the same, I don't see why the rich should have an obligation by law to take care of the poor, its not their fucking fault but if they choose to then by all means go for it.

My last post about taxes when bob-ij said "But it's supposed to facilitate equality of income" oh lawdy lord my reflex action of counter arguements went off in my head while I was supposed to be putting the finishing touches to my coursework so here I am voicing them out.

Everyone in the world was born for a purpose, believe it or not, some where born to shine, some where born to shadow, some where born to be rich some were not, its a fact get used to it. The point im trying to make is that, people who make money should not have to pay so much taxes to help keep the benefits line going because some lazy ass mofo somewhere who can be bothered to fuck enough to get herself 6 kids cannot be bothered to get a job so what does the governement do supply her with a 6 bedroom house. How insane is that??? like really WTF!!! there are so many people who struggle to make this good money who have so many debts to pay but because of taxes it will take a long time, they can't have a six bedroom house why?? because some hefffer with six kids who can't get off her lazy ass to get a job, got it. If it was that she was working but not enough money then benefits like child benefits will come on handy.

It's things like this that get me so pissed off, the sooner the world realises that there will be NO EQUALITY the better for us, then we would start to deal with issues realistically. I am not against benefits for people who genuinely need it, but I am not for it when it becomes a life style for people. People say oh the gov needs taxes to facilitate the defence well fuck it they dont need someone's 50% to do that; maybe if they used the money for worthwhile reasons like serious educational reforms (rather than giving out EMA to people who only come to school for EMA not to actually learn anything), more funds for the NHS, less fucking benefits then maybe people who spend Jan - June working for the government (yes that how long people who pay taxes work for the gov) will feel better about helping out poor people instead of making life so damn hard for them.

And maybe developed countries will realise that the fucking problem we have in Africa is not that we don't have enough mosquito nets it's because there is no fucking management of our money, so hopefully they will stop sending those foolish nets that don't even work properly but help us with a revolution so we can do away with these greedy monsters that rule our countries and then maybe we will start to see changes.

Now I seriously seriously need to finish my coursework....

Shouting Quietly

2009-05-05T19:03:00.003+01:00

LOL this is actually a completely random post because I'm bored and I hate doing homework and coursework in fact I hate school, if not that my mum is a total control freak and will never allow her only daughter to drop out of school, I would have quit school a long long time ago.

So I do random thinks like check up new words every couple of days, and while I was doing that today, I remembered last year in my law class, how my teacher was saying that parliament or something like that where complete bonzo's saying market sellers should shout quietly because of office workers, as apparently they where disturbing with their shouting.

How the hec does one shout quietly, isn't shouting supposed to be loud, to cause an uproar, for it to be an outcry etc...so how does one shout quietly...lol so I have decided that law makers in this country have to be one of the silliest people on the planet, they make stupid laws that make life so incovenient. Remember when the budget thingy came out how they are making people who earn over £150 grand pay 50% tax..........fuck no! lol i plan on being so paid and I'm not sure after my extensive expensive schooling and going to boring maths class and slugging through endless essays and shitty IT lesson, hearing the yelling of my law and economics teachers, going to uni to spend the next 3 - 4 yrs of my life getting a piece of paper (by that I mean a degree) I would probably not use, then get MY money and then give half of MY money to the government, call me selfish but again fuck no, I refuse to infact I think I'll move to monaco.
How selfish is the gov telling people to give away half of their money kmt, I don't blame people for tax evasion seriously lol, it shouldn't be a crime it should be the fucking law.

So yes, that was me shouting quietly.

Elle est noir mais elle déteste les Noirs

2009-04-28T17:25:00.004+01:00

LOL ok so I said I wouldn't blog again but somewhere in between me doing my coursework which by the way is due on Fri, I just happend to come across this video and I thought I'd share it.

Last night after 6hrs of courseworking I watched Spike Lee's Do the Right Thing, so many people had been saying how good the movie was and bladiblah plus I'm starting to get into all these kind of movies - City of God was great by the way even if I was scared shitless lol...you should really watch it.
So yes I was really annoyed yesterday after I watched Do the Right Thing because of the bit where the police strangle Radio Raheem, I was sooo soooo soooooooooo mad like WTF!!! did they have to do that??? arrghh but thats another story for another day....so today as usual whenever I sit infront of the comp to do my coursework I always get bored and start doing totally unrelated things lol, so today I found this video from the Montel Williams show, that little Grand Finale thing that he did last year and I wouldn't say I'm angry, I'm just disgusted.

Ok so the quality of the vid is not that great, but don't blame me lol, I've been searching for a proper one to show you but can't find any.

Watch it and see how deranged some people are, I mean this girl is a complete retard like I don't care if she's messed up in the head or anything if thats the reason for being ashamed of her God given right to be black, what got me however is her saying Martin Luther King didn't do nothing for her, Rosa Parks didn't do nothing for her, is she mad???? I'm convinced without a reason of a doubt she's just an idiot and I feel sorry for, you know what scratch that, I don't feel sorry for that mofo racist land fill waste, but being racist to your own people, hating your own skin now thats a new one, and like bossip say's Jesus Take the Wheel

Elle est noire mais elle déteste les Noirs
by www-Piankhy-com

*****Nearly There....

2009-04-27T22:46:00.004+01:00

So guys I'm nearly there>>at the end of my journey of self re-discovery. Basically I haven't been myself lately and I feel I've lost the essence of my life somewhere in between my highly disorganised life. But right now I'm enjoying this journey I'm learning so much about myself and other interesting things which are truly inspiring.

But I don't think I will be able to blog much over the next month, I have exams you see my A2 exams so im pretty freaked out and stressed out at the moment, I didn't know a levels where this hard, the not so smart people who came up with them need to have their heads re-examined a total bunch of idiots I tell you making my life a whole lot harder with all the other bs I deal with, by simply being a teenager.

So yes I will be off blogger for a while >> till June and hopefully when I come back you will have me and my new re-defined blog.

**Yes my blog is also taking a rain check you see lol, I'm not going to only post random/meaningless tidbits anymore. Strictly things that are meaningful to me because I've decided that only meaningful things have a place in my life, and maybe a bit of randomness lol as I am very random.

The 4 Re's

2009-04-16T21:52:00.005+01:00

So I'm sitting here at my table, thinking about the mountain of work I have to do before I can even start revision but I cant seem to concentrate because I have zero motivation. Of late it like my life has been on a rollercoaster ride and I hate rollercoasters, I like things to be smooth with the occassional bump. I dont mind that. But when things are moving to fast and are constatly changing I know its time to have a rain check because I become very uncomfortable.

Reflecting
I spent almost two hours today thinking about my life, what I'd accomplished. what I had failed at. what I still wanted to do but hadn't done, what was missing. what had hurt me. what I wanted. what I needed.

Through reflecting I sort of figured somethings out about my self
I love life...I try to live it but sometimes I'm too scared of the unknown to go into it
I enjoy being safe sometimes too safe
I love procastination we are best friends
I am too trusting of people
..and some other things

So now I need to re-evaluate what it is that is important to me, and as simple as it sounds, Im scared because this means I am reaching the stage where Im supposed to cut out all unmeaningful elements in my life, all rubbish, all the bullshit that is there, but why is it so hard to let go to?? Even if the force that is begging me not to let go of bad habits and bad things is strong my determination to eliminate them is renewed because I refuse to have my life run by insignificant things, its time to change.

Re-structuring has gone on smoothly, mostly because I had an interesting conversation with my aunty yesterday and although she listened to me for hours, she rarely said anything and I discovered something interesting about myself, I am scared, very scared to do things, I dont know why but thats just the way I am. I know now that my life needed a change yesterday, but as lazy as i am i havent gotten around to doing so.
So I'm going to stop doing things for the sake of doing them
I'm going to only keep things and people in my life who are worth it
I'm going to be more cautious of what I do and who I allow myself to trust
I am going to learn to be brave and get what it is I want.need.desire.deserve.

and most of all I'm going to love those who love me because after everything thats all that really matters.

Re-inventing, this is going to be the hardest bit you see because, I have stripped myself of all the layers of protection I had all the coverings that kept me hidden and safe from everything and everyone, this is a journey I feel will take a while because I am re-discovering who I am and I hope to God I find out soon enough, right now with me so vulnerable and so many emotions running wild, so many thoughts, so many dreams, so many wants, so many needs I need to figure out a way to fit them into this new me, yes a new and improved version of me.

Even if I've been crying for the past hour, I can smile now because I know its going to be alright.

Gotta Have It!

2009-04-02T13:28:00.006+01:00

This is specially for girls who are struggling to find their hearts and its written specially for my friend.

A quick intro into her dilemma
She's torn in between two guy's, for the purpose of this post, the ex would be called Karl (who I believe is her first love) and the current boyfriend will be called Zac.

This is her problem with karl
It's like every time i try to walk away, he keeps pulling me back. I feel like I'm forever subjected to him, his wish forever my command, my heart forever his, i can never recover it even if i tried. We have lost that spark, we can never be, i swear down, I am very sure of it. And every day i pretend we can be just friends. Yes, i deceive myself for we can never be friends, need less say, lovers. I let go of you once, just so unfortunate you had to take with you, something that belonged to me >> my heart.

This is her problem with Zac
He's everything you would want in a guy. He might not be the best looking , but he's quite a catch. He has the most beautiful soul i have ever seen . He tries to make me happy in every way possible. I might never ask for those things, but he can afford to give me whatever my heart desires, because he thinks I'm worth it. Yes, he has this aggressive desire to protect me from whatever harm comes my way. Being with him might not feel right, but it's worth the try because he is definitely worth it.

So how do you get your heart back from your first love, in all honesty you never really do. The problem I think most people have is that they want results quickly, but things cannot change till we change them.

But I would say this, when love doesn't feel right its never right, and when love feels right but its all wrong it isn't ever right. If you are not sure about your love for someone then thats not right too because you have to be sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that you trust that person only then can you say you are in love because Love and Trust are one and the same.

Love's This

2009-03-24T22:11:00.002Z

iThink she looks really niceeee...love her style, but really for tall people no? the scarf will drown me for sure.

Chanel Perspex Briefcase

2009-03-24T22:03:00.006Z

When I saw this my jaw dropped literally, Karl Lagerfeld continues to amaze me. Now whether he is a genius on this or he has been smoking some jetson type weed I don't know, what I do know is I would love to see someone in real life actually rock this instead of this being just another prop for the catwalk.

Nike - Air Jordan 1 Phat Low - Tuxedo Prom Pack

2009-03-24T21:54:00.004Z

To create these shoes Nike drew inspiration from Tuxedo's and Prom...how interesting. They are releasing a white and black seameless shiny leather AJI Phat Low on Sat 16th April.

Nike going Retro

2009-03-24T21:49:00.003Z

Nike is releasing a special Air Jordan 1 Retro - Do The Right Thing Collection (in red and green) to celebrate the 20th anniversary of Director Spike Lee's tale of racial and generational tension on the streets on Brooklyn - Do The Right Thing

Look See >> Ksubi S/S 09

2009-03-24T21:42:00.005Z

LOL so I was looking through all the usual stuff that I do and I came across this and I thought I'd share it.

Who rocked it better?? iThink Pharrel did

More from the collection:

21 Maroons

2009-03-24T14:31:00.012Z

I'm genrally in support of anything that celebrates culture, togetherness and autonomy. iLove it when I see people incorporating meaningful history into modern day life and something has just caught my eye - 21 Maroons.
When I first of all saw this I thought to myself what kind of bullsh*t is the lol, but then I realised what the message was about >> honouring our ancestors and the creative legacy that makes black history relevant and important in the 21st century.

21 Maroons (21 MC) was founded by Emeka Alams and Yego Moravia in their quest for individuality and heritage. Their insipiration is both diverse and interesting and really centres around black history>> West African designs and textiles, the West Indies, Abuja, Lagos, 2Face, Nigerian movies, skateboarding, Afro-punk culture etc....

What's your take on it?

Timeless Pieces - Essentials

2009-03-20T11:45:00.005Z

When building a wadrobe, I like to think the shoes are one of the most important features. And also when starting a shoe wadrobe it is ESSENTIAL to invest in a good pair of black pumps, because quite frankly they are the starting place of any shoe collection.

iLove Loubou's so I chose this as the must have black pump/timeless piece (as you can never go wrong with them)

They generally retail for about £600 but if you find a good site you could get it for less.

This Season's Trend

2009-03-20T00:07:00.005Z

I am super excited about S/S 09, iThink it is super cool the way we have all these different trends being mashed into one. Its all about transperancy, softness and fluitdity. iLOve the fact that little bits and bops from some of my favourite eras are coming back...the 80's particularly bringing back the jeans and the rainbow colours, I also love the fact that there are still timeless pieces i.e. black and the fabrics have more textures too which will make it even much more fun to wear.
Although iThink the 60's was a dull era of nothing particularly significant apart from the young wanting to take the lead... i will welcome the dresses they are bringing back, i do love the A-line shift dresses and I absolutely love the pegged trousers.

This season's must haves:
Distressed Denim - these are soo 80's and early 90's and iLove their come back. This season they are coming back bleached, ripped, spliced and frayed. iLOve the acid wash and the snowwash, the pale denim, dark denim, baggies, skinnies et al love love them

Safari - whenever iThink of this, I just think the 60's which is not my favourite era iThink its actualy quite dull, but this season its all about smart, elegant, colonial style clothing - sort of the Benjamin Bixby S/S 09 Line - its all about the au naturel look...the whole natural make up, beaded heels, short jackets and wide legged trousers. Not a big fan but...

Transparance - the sheer cover up, designers have a thing for see-through clothes and so do I, I first spotted them on the Luella S/S 09 show which iLove, I'm a big fan of them because they give this comfortable and soft feel. The softer pallete of - apricot, peach, sand, putty and cream create that sophisticated look we all want.

Pop Candy - iLove bright colours and I'm well happy that this summer is all about clothes that are yumly bright and colourful. I am so in love with couleurs acidulees..and iThink neon pink is the best.

Futurists- this makes me think of speed and technology no clue why but it just does, anyways its all about the caged sandals, platform heels and big belts for this look.

Tribals - this reminds me so much the DVF line this year, she had so much tribal prints and fanciful headgear...prints from ankara, ikata, leopard spots and chunky beaded accessories are the key to this look. Wear losts of green and mustard as they are the colour pallete to complete this look.

However, I dont like some of the new looks...starting from the one shoulder dress...ark! but there are some exceptions, I dont like the return of the denim jackets (i wish it would just stay in the 90's) so please try to stay away from them people.

Beyonce

2009-03-15T23:23:00.002Z

Beyonce has just graced the cover of most coveted magazine - Vogue, and this issue just happens to the publication's shape issue.

Word on the street is that the next two videos to be dropped are 'Ego' and 'Broken-Hearted Girl'...I'm just as excited as you are

Fabulous Finds - LV S/S 09 Shoes

2009-03-14T16:43:00.006Z

This article is all thanks to my wonderful reader - Rilyn. I was so (still am) excited when I saw your comment about the shoes. Remember the shoes Amber Rose wore to the Givenchy RTW A/W 09 show in Paris, well I've finally found where they are from...

For Spring/Summer Louis Vuitton created this exciting shoe collection, they mixed up different kinds of trends together including - croc print, feathers, metallic detailing and gladiator styles to create this amazing collection. A job well done.

Take a look at these fabulous shoes, and my personal favourite (circled in red)

Amber Rose and Her Shoes

2009-03-13T18:10:00.000Z

The ex-stripper turned glamour model/bisexual who looks like a hoe 85% of the time and has a body to die for has some amazing shoes.

As much as I hate to say it, Amber Rose is a fittie and her and Kanye together are the hottest thing around, for now.

Hocker, her shoes are nice

Hot! Hot! Hot! shoes.(I'm still checking for were they're from)

Im not feeling the pink get up but the shoes are yuum.

Tell me what you think

Kanye and the same pair of jeans

2009-03-13T17:38:00.000Z

I know this guy has a lot of money and he likes fashion, what I don't get is why the hell he keeps wearing the same pair of jeans through out fashion week?

Kanye West Louis Vuitton Sneakers

2009-03-13T17:17:00.000Z

Kanye West was all over Paris Fashion week in his sneakers

Tell me what you think...

Day 26 - Must Be Love or Cassie ft. Diddy - Must Be Love

2009-03-13T16:56:00.001Z

Day 26 had this song for a potential for their second album (produced by Brian Micheal Cox), but once it was dropped from their album, it was GIVEN to Cassie...you can get this on itunes Must Be Love - Casey Ft Diddy

Tell me who you think sings this better...

Keri Hilson's New Video

2009-03-13T16:42:00.001Z

This is Keri Hilson's new video for the song 'Make Love' off her new album - In A Perfect World

I think her and Kanye look so cute in this (no offence to Amber Rose)

Fabulous Finds at Faith

2009-03-13T15:39:00.000Z

I found these beautiful shoes at faith online, I think they are absolutely divine.

Tell me what you think

Benjamin Bixby Spring 09 Line

2009-03-13T15:22:00.000Z

Andre 3000 of our beloved Outkast has launched his Benjamin Bixby Line in Toronto.

As Andre describes it "Benjamin Bixby man is a rebel gent. He likes classics with extraordinary styling"

For the spring menswear collection the inspiration is Colonial India - "the black madras tux, the over-dyed polo with underarm details and the khaki cotton suit with a map of India lining"
I think I'm going to like this line as he is a very creative individual.

There aren't a lot of pics of the collection yet, but here are some.

Marc Jacobs

2009-03-13T15:01:00.001Z

One of the best designer's EVER.

I love his Fall 09 Collection this year, it was big and fun. I loved the hair especially, every girl had a different kind of hair outrageous mohawks, flips and bouffants.

When creating this awesome collection he said he "was thinking about the good old days in new york".

I hope you love the clothes as much as I have...but in this economic gloom will ladies buy into this outrageous style?

Diane Von Furstenberg Fall Winter 2009/10 Womenswear Full Show.

2009-03-13T14:36:00.001Z

I know its all a bit late, but I've been extremely busy with school =[

Anways to today's topic, I thought I'd pay homage to one of my favourite designers..,

Diane von Furstenberg who launched the iconic 'wrap dress' 35 years ago, chose a lot of mixed print fabrics together and (like many other designers) a lot of black too, but she paired it with huge pom pom hats for accessories and nice sweaters.

There was background music from Diana Ross who was there herself.

Cute or Uncute?

2009-03-11T01:16:00.000Z

So we all love LisaRaye (Neese) in All of Us and I'm sure everyone has a soft spot for Ginuwine. But them two together? as rumour's would have it they are a new couple but I'm not so sure about them two together but we'll just have wait and see.

Nevertheless, I can't wait for Ginuwine's new video last chance...with LisaRaye as the leading lady.

Turning Me Off

2009-03-10T22:36:00.000Z

One day I was talking to a girlfriend about how irrittating boys could be. So I compiled a list of all the things me and a couple of friends find so irritating about guy's so you fella's can get a few pointers on how not to turn us off.

I really hate it when I see overlly drunk boys, they are not pleasant.
I hate it when they scratch, down there... by 'oluchi' (LOL that's really eww)
Bad teeth
Bad breadth
Unshaven armpits
Too cocky
Ignorant
Too nice...(boys who are too sweet and are doormats) this is a really big turn off
Liars
Easily led (by friends)
Players
Hood rats
Un-opinionated boys
Boys who don't use deodorant
Clingy boys
Weakboys (wounded pupies)

Next time you fellas are checking for a lady you now know how to approach her correctly.

Fabulous Finds - Jimmy Choo's

2009-03-03T18:57:00.000Z

I have this secret addiction to finding beautiful shoes, and I just had to share this one.

Its from the SS09 collection of Jimmy Choo, some of you might recognise it from the Ad Campaign. I'm not a big fan of green shoes, but this beautiful caged sandals in black matt leather makes me love green.

Apparently it was inspired by tribal ankle jewellery, either way Jimmy Choo is a freaking genius.

More views

Fabulous Finds - Jeggings

2009-03-02T20:00:00.000Z

I was online window shopping as usual and I came across what asos refers to as 'jeggigns' yes I know what a name? (Jeans plus Leggings) , first I thought what the f*ck? then got interested so I decided to check them out.
So I ordered me a pair and found them to be quite comfortable and they fit really good especially for petite people like me.

- this one is the best I've seen so far, its from asos and its got a 70's blue colour - so vintage and I love, love it.

Topshop has also got some nice ones.

Dawn's King Magazine Spread...

2009-02-27T00:22:00.000Z

Ok I think there's a trend going on here, first Aubrey did playboy and now Dawn is doing King? LOL at least the pic doesn't bare all...So fella's keep waiting cuz u never gonna see her goodies.

I wonder who's next...

New Movie To Watch Out For...'Preachers Kid'

2009-02-26T00:04:00.000Z

I am absolutely in love with Tank, well his music anyways.

But this picture caught my eye and I thought damn! damn! damn! Tank is so sexy lol and can't wait to see this movie. I can practically feel the chemistry through my computer screen. I would kill to be in Letoya's shoes right about now.

The Way It Is...

2009-02-25T23:46:00.000Z

I'm sure loads of you watch Keyshia Cole's show - The Way It Is...

Well from reliable sources... bossip, Frankie (Keyshia's biological mother) coming out with her own shoe and perfume line called Hal La!, she also has a book called '2 sides to every story' and get this she's getting her own tv show 'The Franky and Neffy Show' Oh Mi Mothafucking Gosh, is it me or is this just too funny...SMH

Anyway, at Keith Sweats premier of Plantinum House she looked absolutely stink it what ever it is she put on dolce or no dolce, doesn't she have a mirror??

Denim Jackets making a comeback?

2009-02-24T21:46:00.001Z

So Kanye West is a bit bizarre when it comes to dressing, but this has to be an all time high or low the denim jacket is making a come back with Kanye and his bald busty girlfriend Amber Rose. He looks absolutely stink in the jacket but I'm tempted to say Amber pulled it off not so badly.
Personaly, I'm happy denim jackets died with the 90's and I hope they do stay there.

The pair are currently in London, for fashion week. Kanye and a Glamour Model (ex-stripper) thats so wow!

81st Annual Academy Awards

2009-02-23T11:36:00.000Z

This years Oscars was as expected a beautiful epic event with our very own Kate Winslet snagging best actress for The Reader, she looked uhm nice in her Atelier Yves Saint Laurent by Stefabo Pilati (very boring dress) and slumdog millionaire taking home the award for best picture, even if personally I think its an overrated movie.
As predicted Heath Ledger (bless his soul) won best supporting actor for Dark Knight (no suprise there) and the over sexy Penelope Cruz won best supporting actress for Vicky, Cristina, Barcelona who looked absolutely sensational in her 60 year old vintage Pierre Balmain gown and Judith Leiber clutch.

I was pretty excited to know that Susan Reid BBC presenter wore a dress from oxfam for £50 we have to hand it to her she pulled it off nicely. However, Beyonce looked oh so un-stunning in her House of Derion couture dress, and Whoopi? what the hell was she thinking when she left her house SMH awesomely dissapointing!

Moschino For Men

2009-02-23T11:00:00.001Z

I really love it when boys dress really good. And as spring is here and summer is fast approaching its the perfect time to show my four favourite looks from the Moschino Spring/Summer 09 Collection.

Everyone knows Moschino for its 'classico con twist' and these looks say it all

The green cardigan will make the perfect present for a boyfriend.

I think that red jacket says it all for itself, FIRE! Perfect spring wear to make sure you stand out.

The Grey suit is the best when trying to impress someone or get a new job.

The last look sort of reminds me of Chuck (Gossip Girl), effortless style.

Zac Posen

2009-02-22T23:02:00.000Z

I'm a big fan of the 1930's 1940's era, which is why I am totally in love with Zac Posen.

This year for his Pre-Fall Runway show he returned to his signature look- those flirty, forties-inflected clothes we love so much. This look was popular at the time of the great depression (kind of practical at a time like this). The collection was mostly little black dresses and cocktail dresses. In my eyes a perfection combination for the long season of red carpet events.

Aubrey Hoe'Day!

2009-02-22T22:29:00.000Z

Everyone remember Aubrey Hoe, well she is making that paper (gotta hand it to that girl) doing a spread for playboy for $500, 000; as Dawn Richards confirms that Danity Kane has officially been offed.
On the new season of making the band only Dawn and Aundrea appear, apparently the other memebers of DK were given the oppurtunity to come back this season but turned Diddy down. SMH stupid girls.

Meanwhile Dawn and her boo (the sexy) Que have reportedly made a collaboration on a song called Broken Promises.

Rip The Runway 2009

2009-02-22T21:54:00.001Z

Korto Momolu (right) Model (left) wearing Korto's fabulous green dress, I dunno about y'all but I really do like that dress.

This years Rip the Runway was as expected a fabulous event. With performers like T.I, Ron Browz (yes we all love that song pop champange), The Dream, Mavado, Keri Hilson, Busta Rhymes, Bobby Valentino and GS Boyz.

The designers included Johnny Vincent created by Celeste Vincent, Akoo T.I's clothing line, my personal favourite Korto Momolu (fan favourite and runner up of season five on Project Runway), Protege (the giving back brand by NBA Star Al Harrington CEO/Chairman Rodney Henry), Monifa C. (created by the mother and daughter team Monif Clarke and Elaine Clarke), Douglas Says and Byron Lars.

Fantasy Ride New Release Date

2009-02-22T21:42:00.000Z

A new release date has been set for Ciara's third album Fantasy Ride for April 7 2009 on Jive records. The release was formely set for sometime last year but was pushed back for unknown reasons.

So far, she has released two singles off her new album, Go Girl ft T pain and Never Ever ft Young Jeezy.

Fanatsy Ride will feature production by Polow Da Don (same guy that did Usher's Love in This Club and Nas's Hero), The-Dream and Danja, with guest appearances from T pain and Young Jeezy.

Fabulous Thickness!

2009-02-22T20:16:00.002Z

Everyone remember Miss Toccara? Well I am so appreciative of America's Next Top Model, she was on fire at the BET Rip The Runway.

Such fabulous thickness! These are the kind of women to be celeberated, not skinnier than life models.

Wathch Rip The Runway on BET on the 2nd of March

Friends with benefits?

2009-02-21T13:16:00.000Z

Ok so here's the thing loads of people have friends with benefits call it whatever you want, sleeping buddies, fuck buddies, sleeping partners etc its still sex with no strings attached (or is it really?).

How does it actually work? Like are people actually friends and well have sex or are they not friends and still have sex because quite frankly I don't imagine sleeping with any of my friends like it will be totally weird after, what do you say to each other, oh uhm well it was a good session, we should definitely do it again and you still to hang out and do whatever it is you do with no feelings attached? SMH Do people actually sleep with good friends or causal friends? Is it done on a regular basis or is it just a one off sort of thing? I just had to find out what it really is.

On a survey with about 20 people from each sex and I found that 17 out of 20 guys would prefer sleeping with a good friend than a causal friend but the ladies (13 out of 20) will prefer casual friend to a good friend so they can simply walk away.
What I did find thoroughly interesting was that almost everyone (35 out of 40) would prefer that their sex buddies lived about 80 miles from them, in other words they lived so far they wouldn't see all the time (so I'm guessing the sex must be infrequent), but all of the guys (yes all twenty) would not mind indulging even if they were in a serious relationships.

I had a very interesting conversations with serial sex buddies and found that most of them just see it as a chance at free sex with no emotional baggage. So are such friendships worth it? well it sort of depends. If you are the type that can have sex with no meaning to it then go for it, but what happens if your sex buddy falls for you? does it mess things up? I guess it defeats the whole purpose of the whole shebang!
Some say its great and it can last for a year *wink* (isn't that amazing uncomplicated sex for a whole year, wow!) on the other hand some say it sucks as you can never go back to being just friends, however some do disagree and say it can lead to a serious relationship.

Nonetheless, I think its great to have a sex buddy if you have the emotional capacity to handle the complications, because you don't what the other to do something like fall in love now do you? after all, its meaningless sex right? so before you indulge in such amazing frivolities make sure you are taken care of emotionally, get a cat or something.